This one is not about you

I know we won’t have time to talk in person, so you can read this on your own time. Wether you’re trying to ignore me or whatever, from now on. I assume you already don’t wanna be a friend and it’s okay. Also, if I said this stuff in person I would probably cry, like I always do.So well shit, I was really happy with you, because I actually had found someone who met my ridiculously high standards. Once we actually started talking and you showed me who you really were, and then I knew. I liked you. I liked who you were around me, the real you. I liked who you were when you let all your walls fall down and you opened up to me. It’s hard to find someone that you feel comfortable enough around to reveal the true you. Not the person you are to everyone else. Most people put barriers up..

   When we’re together all my walls fall down, ever barrier I’ve set up for myself shatters, and every lock on my heart breaks. So I let you in because you really are an amazing person. You were everything I wanted, funny, nice, cute, caring, you had feelings and you showed them, you were trustworthy, and you actually have goals in your life. You even are a good kid, you never got in trouble, you always are involved in school, and that’s good. I’m sure there are more reasons but that’s enough for now. You’ve seen me in my most vulnerable states and I hate that fact, but that’s how comfortable I am around you.
 The main reason I’m writing this text to you is to apologize. I feel like you don’t wanna talk to me never again, and it hurts so bad… Most of our relationship was good and I was happy most of the time. However, the last few days or so has been confusing. We were doing so well. You missed me, which meant a lot to me. 

Don’t hate me, but I think It isn’t fair to me that way and it leads me on. Just know that I will miss you and if you ever need me, like really need me, I’m only a text or a phone call away. Just know that I’ll always care about you and if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.
I’m sorry for anytime I’ve ever hurt you. You were my first real love and I’m sorry it has to end in such a way where we will never talk again. I’m sorry if I was ever a bad girlfriend or annoyed you or texted you too much. I’m sorry if I missed you too much or wanted to see you too often.

 I want to thank you for a few things. Thank you for letting me love you and allowing me into your life for as long as you did. Thank you for loving me back and showing me that there are people who like me. Thank you for caring as much as you did and for listening to everything I complained/talked about. And thank you for sharing your secrets with me and letting me share mine with you. I would never share them with anyone.

This next part is lame but I’m going to quote a part of the letter that Noah wrote Allie in The Notebook.
   “I’m truly sorry for whatever it was that I have done to drive you away. I am sorry if it seemed I didn’t love you enough, but I can assure you that I loved you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything. I loved so much it hurt. Thank you for laying in the streets with me, thank you for being a bird, thank you for loving me as much as I loved you, thank you for teaching me about life and love and companionship. I want you to know that I am grateful for the person you are and the person you shaped me to be. In everything I do, I will think of you. And I hope you think of me too. Smile at what we had and smile at who you are. Live everyday to it’s fullest and be genuinely happy. That’s what I wish for you. Happiness.
I harbor no resentment towards you. I only have love and I wish the best things in the world for you. At the same time, I selfishly wish things could have ended on a different note. I am not bitter nor angry. I find no fault in the decision you made because I can only see beautiful things when I look at you and only think beautiful thoughts about you and for you.”
Forever, and always, love,


 I will always remember this view…


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